Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Happy Fasnaught Day

To much of the world, the day before Ash Wednesday is known as Mardi Gras as a result of the famous celebration in New Orleans. This year, all of the news programs have devoted considerable airtime to stories about how residents of Nawleans have struggled to rebuild in the wake of Katrina. From the few I watched, most seemed to try to find the upbeat as the city has vowed to show the world that this Mardi Gras will be the best ever.

But, in Central Pennsylvania, this day is known as Fasnaught Day. Instead of a parade of drunken dabauchery, the Pennsylvania Dutch prepare for the coming of the austerity of Lent by making fasnaughts, which are small round pastries with a hole in the center.

Yep, while people in New Orleans are having a wild party, we Penn Dutchies celebrate by making donuts.

Whoopee.

Glad I'm on a diet this year.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Swann Dive

I don’t want to make this blog all about politics, but I have to put my thoughts down about the upcoming Pennsylvania Gubernatorial election. As it stands right now, the state Republican Party has thrown its support behind former Pittsburgh Steeler Lynn Swann, forcing out of the race the other contenders, including former Lt. Governor Bill Scranton. Allegedly, their hope was to avoid a costly primary battle and focus their resources on unseating Governor Ed Rendell. The reality is, as I see it, they’ve now virtually guaranteed a second term for Rendell.

Swann, a complete political novice, has never run for office, but the state GOP seems to feel that a celebrity candidate worked in California and Minnesota, so why not PA? Well, first of all, a football player is probably not the best choice. Pennsylvania has two NFL teams, and while the Steelers may have finally gotten that “one for the thumb,” Swann hasn’t donned the black and gold for decades now. And, sorry Steelers fans, but the Philly region is more heavily populated metro area in Pennsylvania. For every Steelers fan who might be tempted to vote for Swann just ‘cause he used to catch passes from Terry Bradshaw, there’s probably two bitter Eagles fans who will now vote against him because our team choked last year. Not did we lose, but we had to put up with T.O.’s crap, so if you think you’re going to get a ring and a governor in the same year, think again.

The other problem is Swann himself. Take a look at his campaign website. It’s full of the usual platitudes about how he loves his family and his community, but it’s completely devoid of any real substantive ideas. Or perhaps that best. Polls put Rendell and Swann in a statistical dead heat until Swann made his appearance on This Week with George Stephannopolis. Then the governor surged ahead by 12 points. Maybe it’s best that Swann avoids the issues and just continues to talk about football.

It’s a shame. With all that’s happened in this past year, the people of Pennsylvania deserve a real and honest race. Instead, we’ve got an incumbent and an empty suit.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

No, I'm not watching it either

So, anyone watching the Olympics?

Nah, me neither.

I've realized that I absolutely don't care about the Olympics in general, but the Winter Games inspire a whole new level of apathy.

It's not just that the whole thing is just a hypocritical orgy of nationalistic cheering that masquerades as promoting international understanding.

It's that the sports in the Winter Games suck. I wouldn't even call most of them sports.

Seriously, figuring skating? That's dancing on ice. Not a sport. Unless someone is getting hit in the kneecap with a pipe, I don't care.

The half-pipe? What the hell is that anyway? Any activity that allows you to listen on your Ipod while you do it is not a sport. And looking at the participants, I'd say that "half-pipe" sounds like something they're smoking, not riding on.

The luge? It just seems childish to watch a guy slide down on his back. Skeleton? Same thing, only on his stomach.

Speedskating? Okay, that's basically a foot race on ice. I'll give you that one's a sport. But do they have to wear full body condoms?

The only legitimate sport in the Winter Games is hockey and, let's be honest, even with the NFL players, the US team usually sucks. And do they have to recycle the "miracle on ice" angle every year? Okay, we get it, it was the cold war, and we beat the Ruskies at hockey. It was great when it happened, but that was 26 years ago!

But curling? I'm sorry, but there's now way you can make sweeping look athletic.

While on the subject. Soccer is not a sport. Soccer is the downfall of civilization. Whereve soccer is played, riots occur. Soccer is the only "sport" that is documented to have caused a war in Latin America. I'm sure the end game in the 6th century when two gladiators started kicking an inflated pig's bladder back and forth.

Pro-wrestling is not a sport. It's not just that fake. It's the fact that it's the stupidest thing on the planet.

Golf is not a sport. If you need a servant to carry your equipment, it's not a sport.

Wake me the games are over.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

What I pulled off the shelf in 2/06

Ilium by Dan Simmons

This is the first of a new series by the author the Hyperion series. Far in the future, the Trojan War isplayed out on the plains of Mars in the shadow ofOlympos Mons. Thomas Hockenberry is a 21st century professor who is one of several scholars brought fromthe dead by the Olympian gods to observe and recordthe war. Meanwhile, a number of sentient machines from the Jovian satellites embark on a mission of their ownand a group of humans from Earth embark on a missionto find the post humans. Are these the "real" Olympian gods? And, if so, whyare they recreating the events of the Iliad on Mars? Where did the post-humans go? And what will happen when some of the principals decide to go "off script"and take the war in a direction that Homer never imagined?

Some of those questions are answered in this volume. Others appear to be saved for the sequel, Olympos,which is already out in hardback. Fans of Simmons' Hyperion novels will enjoy this. Like that series, Ilium touches on role of artificial intelligence inour society and bringing people back from the dead. Also like the Hyperion books, it's peppered with numerous literally references. This is a fast-paced adventure story with complex, often conflicted characterizations. I'd highly recommend to anyone.

Signal to Noise

This 1998 book by Eric Nylund has been sitting on myshelf for quite some time, so I decided to finallypick it up. Jack Potter is an expert on computer cryptography innear-future world defined by paranoina and cutthroatcompetition. Just as Jack and his friends are settingup their own business, Jack is contacted by an alienbeing who is willing to trade some advanced knowledgewith Jack.

Soon, Jack's business is producing a virus that notonly cures cancer, but seems to make people smarter. But Jack soon finds himself caught in a struggle notonly with various governments on Earth, but also withhis own friends and business. He even realizes that this alien trading partner isn't what he thought itwas.

Is there anyone Jack can trust?

This is a dark dystopian look at the future and is not for those who like the happy uptopian futures of theGene Roddenberry mold. Still, it's a tightly wovenplot involving difficult moral choices. Jack wants todo the right thing, but often finds himself forced tomake compromising choices in order to survive. Few novels pull off a character like this and make him still be sympathetic to the reader the way that this one does.


War of the Gods

This one of the last novels published by the late Poul Anderson. Based on the legend of the Danish King Hadding, Anderson draws heavily on Norse mythology topaint a vivid picture of life in the iron age. Focusing on the story of the ware between the Aesirand the Vanir, Anderson writes in a style the evokesmany epic tales of the past. Hadding is the son of the king, but was raised by the giants. The book follows his rise to power and his struggles to maintain peace in a violent world. The style is similar to some of Anderson's earlier"historical fantasies" such as The Broken Sword and The King of Ys. If you like your fantasy with a touchof realism and historical accuracy, then this is agood book. Anderson was one of my favorite writers and reading this was a bittersweet experience for me as it marks the end of a prolific career of one of the last great Grandmasters of his generation.


The Burning Heart of Night

Imagine a world plagued by a deadly disease caused bya parasite. The only way to control the disease is toslaughter members of another sentient species in orderto harvest their natural resistance to the parasite. Could you do it? That's the premise of this 2002 Ivan Cat novel. On a colony founded by members of a puritanical religioussect, the colonists have enslaved the Khafra, the native species of the planet New Ascension. The Khafra serve as both slaves and as a source protection from the disease. But Jenette Tesla, the daughter of thecolony's leader, hopes to find another way to save her colony and end the sacrifice of the Khafra.

Throwing a monkey wrench into this colony, is Lindal Karr, pilot of the colny ship that has crashed onto New Ascension. Jenette hopes that the supply of"fugue", a strange material that slows down time, on the ship could be the key to ending the suffering ofthe Khafra. But will the other colonists and the feral Khafra (those that have resisted enslavement) let them? A deep exploration of how disease and crises can affect social mores and the lengths people will go to in order to survive, this novel, like Signal to Noise,is not for those that like their futures bright and shiny. I would have liked a more deeper explanation on how the fugue works or the culture that produced Karr's unique training. It is, however, a solid science fiction story that challenges the reader to hope for the survival of a people who may not even deserve it.